Confidence is often misunderstood. We sometimes imagine a confident person as someone who never questions themselves, never feels intimidated, and never worries about failure or rejection. In reality, confident people can experience doubt too. The difference is that they learn how to move forward while doubt is present.
Confidence is also not always about self-esteem. A person can know they are talented and still have difficulty believing they deserve the opportunity in front of them. An athlete may possess the skills to win a gold medal but have trouble imagining themselves standing on the podium. A screenwriter may spend a year creating a script and then be afraid to let anyone read it. A talented singer may sound extraordinary in private but hesitate to sing in front of an audience. A musician may create original work yet continually postpone sharing it.
The same thing happens professionally. Someone may have an excellent idea during a meeting but remain silent while another person speaks up and receives the attention of management. A qualified professional may hesitate to apply for a promotion or ask for a new opportunity.
Sometimes obstacles appear in everyday life. Someone wants to ask for the job, introduce themselves to someone new, request an opportunity, make a presentation, ask someone on a date, or simply say, "This is what I can do."
When Ability and Belief Don't Match
There can be an interesting gap between what a person is capable of doing and what they allow themselves to believe is possible. Sometimes we continue to operate from an older internal picture of ourselves even after our skills, experience, and circumstances have changed. We may unconsciously rehearse thoughts such as:
- What if I'm not good enough?
- What if they reject me?
- Who am I to think I can do this?
- Maybe I should wait until I'm more prepared.
Waiting can occasionally be useful. But there are also times when "waiting until I feel completely confident" becomes a way of never taking the opportunity at all.
Confidence Can Be Trained
Performance and personal-development work can address more than physical preparation or technical skills. It can also examine internal language, scan personal values, enhance focus, generate mental imagery, explore expectations, and rehearse upcoming experiences in their mind. Tools may include thought reframing, guided imagery, mindfulness, selected NLP concepts, hypnosis, and self-hypnosis.
For example, a person can learn to recognize an automatic limiting statement and develop more useful internal language. Imagery can be used to mentally rehearse speaking, performing, competing, presenting, or sharing creative work. Hypnosis and self-hypnosis can provide a focused environment for programming individualized suggestions connected to clearly defined goals. The purpose is not to convince yourself that failure is impossible. It is to develop the ability to say:
I may not know exactly what will happen, but I am prepared to give myself the opportunity to find out.
What Is Your Gold Medal?
For an athlete, the gold medal may actually be a gold medal. For someone else, it may be submitting the screenplay. Singing the song. Showing someone the painting. Speaking during the meeting. Applying for the position. Walking onto the stage. Sharing an idea. Starting the business. Asking the question they have been afraid to ask.
The metaphorical "win" is different for every person. At Journey2Horizon, individual coaching and training can help identify the specific thoughts, habits, expectations, and performance patterns that may be interfering with that next step. There is much more to confidence than simply telling yourself to "believe in yourself." Sometimes confidence develops through preparation, practice, individualized strategies, and learning how to move forward without waiting for every trace of doubt to disappear.
What is your version of the gold medal?
Journey2Horizon provides educational, coaching, and personal-development services. Services are not psychotherapy and are not intended to diagnose or treat mental health conditions.
